Home Alone 2: The attack of the hungry pigeons

Title: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Year:  1992

Director:   Chris Columbus

Running time: 113 min.

Country: United States.

Central Park at night is not a safe place. When darkness falls, many harmful creatures appear in the middle of park, including hungry pigeons.A naive reader could think that pigeons are not a serious risk for humans, but in Home Alone 2, we can see a clear example of how to fear a wild pigeon flock.

The sequence is as follows: a massive flock of pigeons gathers in Central Park waiting to receive food and care from a Homeless lady. 

She obviously was very fond of these creatures and loved to be surrounded by them. Meanwhile the protagonist was being chased by the two bad guys of the film. During his escape he meets the lady and her feathered gang.

Fortunately she is on the side of the protagonist and she helps him throwing a sticky mixture of pigeon food on the bad guys.

Soon, both of them are surrounded by hordes of hungry pigeons that literally cover them in an orgy of seeds, pigeon poo and scared humans. Fortunately, pigeons are vegetarians (as far as I know) so the bad guys survived this event but in a very bad nasty condition.

This scene is a clear example of how a big flock of tiny birds can definitively discourage and harm a medium--size mammals.

Details of the pigeon starring 

• Source: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Starring moment: 1:39:00
• Pigeon activity: They create a feathered wall that blocks the bad guys to chase Kevin. 
• Symbolism: None. Pigeons are mere hungry animals that inhabit Central Park. 
• Relevance: High. Thanks to the pigeons Kevin could successfully escape from the attackers. 
• Training level: Medium. Technically the scene consists of dumping lots of pigeons on both men. 

Special thanks to Michael Filosa for suggesting this film. 

Castaway On The Moon: leveraging pigeons for survival

Title: Kimssi pyoryugi (Kim's Island) - Castaway On The Moon

Year:  2009

Director:   Lee Hae-Joon (AKA Lee Hae-Jun)

Running time: 116 min.

Country: South Korea

This film is about a man stranded as a castaway on a deserted island and was a pleasant surprise for me. The story evolves very unexpectedly and I really enjoyed it. It contains many memorable funny scenes and a bizarre love story. Wait, wasn't he alone? The answer is a bit complex, so it is better to watch the movie.

I don't intend to write a review about this film. There are many blogs that do this job better than mine. This is a pigeon-centric blog so I'm only summarising here the human-pigeon interactions. There are actually several of these moments which are very interesting and funny. Before talking about them, let's firstly contextualize the scenes:

At the beginning of the story we find a starving castaway called Kim who is trapped on a desert island. What should he do when his stomach is demanding some immediate action? To try to take food from all the sources he can. And the sources are limited to a few options: some mushrooms, fish and some wild birds.... including an enjoyable (and nutritious) group of pigeons:

So, for Kim the answer is clear: it is necessary to hunt the pigeons (nothing personal, just hunger).

First attempt: hunting pigeons

The first attempt is quite straightforward: to prepare some kind of trap in order to attract and catch an innocent animal. In this case, he used an old pot, held by a stick attached to a cord. Some vegetables would attract the pigeon. The result: a complete fail (for him) and a happy ending for the lucky pigeon. Maybe this trap works for mice in cartoons, but not in real life.

Second attempt: the miraculous food poisoning

 

In the end, Kim finally caught some fish and could sleep with a full stomach. Meanwhile, a flock of pigeons descended to nose around the remains of dinner. Pigeons are vegetarian and they don't like to fly during the night, but in this case it seems that they are different to the usual ones.

What happened next was that that either the pollution in the fish or the fish itself was not good for the pigeons, and the next day, when Kim wakes up, he surprisingly finds a dead pigeon... extra food for him.

Third attempt: leveraging pigeon poo

Eating pigeons only provides a limited amount of food. Our protagonist discovered an indirect way for obtaining food from them: given that seeds are part of the pigeons' diet, some indigested seeds could be found in the pigeon's poo. Planting it would grow cereals, the best kind of food. Kim finally found a smart, sustainable and pigeon-friendly way of leveraging pigeons for survival.

Details of the pigeon starring 

• Source: Kimssi pyoryugi- Castaway On The Moon. Starring moment: 0:23:13, 0:25:55, 0:44:32
• Pigeon activity: They are wild pigeons which stay with a castaway on a insolated island. A very risky place for pigeons. 
• Symbolism: There is no special symbolism in the movie.
• Relevance: High. Thanks to the pigeon, the protagonist is able to get some food and survive in a lonely environment.
• Training level: Medium. There are some very nice the scenes where the pigeons are staring at the protagonist. However, in the scene of the nocturnal pigeon visit, they descend in a very unnatural way, clearly showing that they are thrown by a pigeon specialist.

Caramel: a wedding and some pigeon droppings

Title: Sukkar banat (Caramel)

Year:  2007

Director:  Nadine Labaki

Running time: 96 min.

Country:  Lebanon

A wedding is time for celebration and joy, and nothing can spoil it. Not even a pigeon performing a carpet bombing of the guests. This film presents the life of five women in modern Beirut. I really enjoyed how it combines comedy and drama. I also was delighted when I found a pigeon appearance which I'll describe here:

At a certain point of the film, there is a wedding and the bride throws the bouquet from a balcony. Several of the guests are women that are grouped with great expectation for being the one who catches it.

But instead of that, a woman receives a dropping directly on her face. This is a very unpleasant situation. Try to imagine how such dropping can spoil a dress that was carefully chosen for the celebration or cause a serious makeup disorder.

Very nasty.....

What we see is a pigeon flying away in the distance. It is the culprit of this wedding madness.

Immediately, the panic spreads among the guests and everybody looks upwards looking for the source of the dropping.

After that they realise that the danger was over and now, all of them are safe from further droppings. The joy comes back again, the woman cleans her face and the celebration resumes with full intensity. The complete scene can be seen here.

Details of the pigeon starring 

• Source: Sukkar banat (Caramel). Starring moment: 1:25:06
• Pigeon activity: It is a pigeon which performs an on-the-fly deposition over the wedding guests.
  
• Symbolism: Low. In this case, this situation that is used to show us how an awful situation can be overcome by a positive attitude.
• Relevance: Low. Despite the pigeon intervention at a critical point of the wedding, the women managed that with good humour and the joyful situation was soon restored.
• Training level: It is difficult to analyze the pigeon's training level because of the short appearance. It is probably a wild animal. 

How high: a pigeon slaughter

Title: How High
Year:  2001

Director: Jesse Dylan

Running time: 96 min.

Country: United States

This film contains one of the most villainous and violent acts against pigeons that I have seen. In the scene, innocent pigeons are used as explosive devices for orchestrating a cruel revenge against Dean Carl Cain. The evil mind behind this operation is Mr. Silas (Method Man), a Harvard student well known for being very fond of Botany, more specifically in one plant type that I will omit because it is not related to the violent acts that I'm depicting here. Silas and Dean Carl Cain have a bad relationship, so Silas planned to pay the Dean back in his own special way.

In this part of the film, Silas and two chums get into the Dean's office and scatter a mix of birdseeds and laxatives. Then, Silas opens a window allowing a flock of pigeon to come in and start a unexpected feast of seeds. The poor pigeons are unaware of the dangerous side effects of the food. After a while, the laxatives provoke a voilent attack of diarrhea that makes them bloat and then.... suddenly they start to blow up, like popcorn in a pan, covering the entire office with a nasty mixture of feathers and droppings. Very funny, Mr. Silas, very funny... but don't forget that pigeons always hold the grudge. One day you'll receive some poo and that will be no coincidence. The complete scene can be seen here. 

Mr. Silas smiles while he reveals his evil plan.

Happy pigeons having a birdfood feast in the Dean's office.

Snapshot of a pigeon just before blowing up.

State of the Dean Carl Cain's office after the pigeon slaughter

Details of the pigeon starring 

• Source: How high  Starring moment: 0:50:35
• Pigeon activity: They are street pigeons that enter in an apartment in search of bird seeds. Pigeons are usually shy and they don't like to enter in houses. However, this kind of pigeon behaviour is frequently employed in many films -like this one. The special effects of the scene are remarkable. Instead of using computer animation they just cut the scene, and replace the original pigeon with an explosive reproduction which blows up very realistically.
• Symbolism: This scene lacks of symbolism. The pigeons are common pigeons that avidly eat all the food that they find.
• Relevance: Medium. With this action the Dean's office is completely devastated. This event contributes to deteriorating further the bad relationship between the Dean and the main characters of the film. 
• Training level: Medium. The pigeons fly into the apartment in a non-natural way. It is evident that they are thrown in from outside. However, when they are in the apartment they behave pretty well eating all the seeds with great excitement.

Hard Target: a cocktail of Van Damme, violence and pigeons

Title: Hard Target
Year:  1993
Director: John Woo
Running time: 92 min.
Country: United States

What would you expect from a film directed by John Woo and starring by Jean Claude Van Damme?

Some action?  Sure

Plenty of violence?  Absolutely

Traces of romance?  Few (actually none in this film)

Any pigeons?  Tons of them!!!

This film includes several pigeon-related scenes which develop a significant role in the plot. In the film there are two sides: the goodies and the baddies. On one hand, we find Chance Boudreaux (Jean-Claude Van Damme). He is a hero who is helping Natasha in the search for her father. On the other, there is a group of bad guys commanded by the evil Emil Bouchon. This group eventually finds Mr. Chance and tries to hunt and kill him. In between, there are many pigeon appearances -always supporting the protagonist-. I summarize these appearances in three scenes that I think that are the most representative.

Scene 1, the dove's miraclous guidance

Chances respectful stares at the dove

Chance is at the place where the corpse of Natasha's father was found. He is looking for new evidence when suddenly a dove enters the scene.  Chance follows the flight of the dove, which stops on a wooden railing. We can see how the dove nods pinpointing  the evidence that Chance is looking for.

It is a general consensus that Jean Claude Van Damme didn't perform an exceptional interpretation in this movie but in this scene I think that he does pretty well: he seems to be very interested in the pigeon's behaviour and he shows a respectful attitude (as opposed to Woody Allen in Star Dust Memories). Somehow he knows that the dove is helping him and he appreciates very much this gentile help.

The dove shows Chance the criminal evidence that he is looking for

Scene 2, the martyr pigeons

The hunt for Chance is approaching the climax. He is cornered in an abandoned warehouse. Two John-Woo-style-bad-guy-pimps are chasing him driving motorbikes inside the warehouse. One of them (that we are going to call Bad Guy) stops and searchs for his victim, Mr. Chance. The Bad Guy is not aware of the presence of several pigeons above him. In parallel with this action, and pressed under the circumstances of a heavy vegetable-based breakfast, one of the pigeons poos on the helmet of the Bad Guy  (left picture). This is always a very disturbing event, but if you are a bad guy armed with a machine gun the consecuences can be fatal. This is the case of these innocent pigeons which were massacred under the indiscriminate revenge fire of this pigeon maniac. A bloody-feathered slaughter. After ending his revenge Chance appears in the scene and pronounces his famous and very deep phrase: Hey Pigeon!. The bad guy is unable to kill Chance (given that he finished all the ammunition firing at the pigeons) and Chance takes his time to kill the Bad Guy in a very terrible and painful way which I will avoid describing because it is not related to pigeons. The complete scene can be seen here.

The pigeon feels relaxes after pooing on the Bad Guy

The massacre of the innocent pigeons under the indiscriminate fire of the Bad Guy

Scene 3, the beginning of the killing rampage

After hiding in the deepest side of the warehouse Chance is ready to show his skills as a killing machine in a bloody rampage. Before starting the orgy of violence we can see him with a feathered friend. They are staring each other. I really like the complicity between this two characters.

Mr. Chance waits to start the killing rampage with his feathered friend

Details of the pigeon starring 

• Source: Hard Target  Starring moment: Scene 1: 0:29:45, Scene 2: 1:12:57, Scene 3: 1:15:44
• Pigeon activity: The pigeons develop several roles. In scene 1 there is a providence dove that guides the protagonist. In scene 2 there are common pigeons that live in an abandoned building. Finally, in scene 3 there is a friendly pigeon that fraternizes with Van Damme.
• Symbolism: Again, each scene has a different symbolism. In scene 1 the dove represents the search for justice. Maybe even it could symbolise Natasha's father's soul guiding the protagonist. In scenes 2 and 3 they are common but friendly pigeons.
• Relevance: High. The pigeons help the protagonist in several parts of the movie.
• Training level: John Woo invested a large budget for using pigeons in this movie. Apart from the scenes commented on in this post there are many appearances of pigeons flying across the scenery. All of the pigeons are remarkably well-trained.

Thanks to Dogghound's Knight Grand Cross of the Wild Empire for suggesting this film

Special Issue: the Pigeon Whisperer

In the next Special Issue our team travels to the South of Germany, in a town close to Freiburg im Breisgau, on the border of the Black Forest. We are going to interview Mr. Jörg... it is said that he is a pigeon whisperer. We meet him in a forest close to his hometown. He comes dressed in a balaclava with two feathered friends. We felt a bit frightened so firstly I ask him: Why do you dress like that? Is it because of the cold?. No no, -he says- it is actually because of the pigeon droppings. I'm training Thomas Müller, who now is clumsily moving on my head. Mesut Özil (on my shoulder) is a well trained pigeon that is helping me during this exercise.  Are you using German football players' names? I ask. Yes, yes. I like football and pigeons...so why not combine them? We are surprised how Mesut Özilis stares at Mr. Jörg... just waiting for his command. Jörg takes off the balaclava. He is smiling and looks a friendly person... later we will discover that he is not nice at all because he uses pigeons for unethical purposes.

Jörg poses with Mesut Özil and Thomas Müller on his shoulder and head, respectively.

I invite him to tell us his story. Yes, of course -Jörg says smiling even more broadly-  I have liked pigeons since my childhood.... my father used to breed them. Then, a few years ago I enrolled in the German Army and served in Afghanistan. There, in our base, I met an Afghan man who breeds pigeons too. Pigeon breeding is a very old Afghan tradition but the Talibans banned it... if you like pigeons.... you could be killed as could all your birds.... terrible!!  Anyway, we discovered this hobby in common and we became friends. He tought me about an ancient technique for training pigeons.

Look at that!! he says as he opens the car's boot and a flock of pigeons flies out of it. Now they are heading back home -Jörg says- but look at this formation!!.  We saw the pigeons flying in a perfect V formation: four pigeons lead by a dove. It is awesome!! I said.

Can they form more complicated figures like a heart? -I naively ask- He became very upset: What do you think? That this is the Cirque du Soleil? I spent two years creating this formation.... I don't like to keep the pigeons in the boot because it is very disturbing for them but I did that to impress you and now all you say is that it is not enough? These are the all stars of the SC Freiburg football team!!! I'm Sorry -I said- I didn't know that. He smiled again... don't worry.... let's go to my base. We took the car....  Jörg was driving with Özil and Müller wandering around on the back seat.

When we arrive to his training camp I asked him about his motivation for doing this. Of course, -he says- I like pigeons but I train them for making profit. Unfortunately, my V formation service didn't have much success at weddings and birthday parties. Children usually like to see them flying and enjoy playing with the pigeons but their parents don't think the same.... all because of the bad reputation of pigeons.... if I had flamingos instead..... I would be rich now. I notice some sorrow in him.

Ok. I'm going to show you how I make money. He proudly says while he starts the car engine. He parked his car on one side of a small road and suddenly a pigeon dives very fast swooping down towards the car.... in an instant, without breaking its flight, it poops on the car and flies away.

Miroslav Klose striking the car.

What was that? I exclaimed. That was Miroslav Klose striking the car. But he left a super poo on it! I said. That's the point!!! Jörg said very proudly. Look now how Klose is checking his mess.... I call it double-checking.... if he had failed he would retry later!!!

The proof of Klose's strike.... we can observe him doing the double checking technique.

I don't get the point. I say. What is this for? Very easy: people that hate other people want to piss them off. I can train a striker that is able to poo on his/her car every single day.  My slogan is:

“It’s gonna be quick. It’s gonna be clean. Best of all…it’s gonna be quiet.” audio

Try to imagine that every single morning when you go to your work you receive this kind of present. And the most terrible thing is that it is impossible to prevent it. A real nightmare!!! Ahahaha!!!!

Now our team was completely scared. This man is a greedy bully! He is corrupting the harmless nature of pigeons for making money with evil intentions. We abruptly decided to conclude the interview. 

His last words were... I will train a Cristiano Ronaldo for you!!!

Special Issue: cosmetics, pigeons and droppings

In this first special issue we address the inclusion of pigeons in the World of Cosmetics. The cosmetics industry extracts many of its raw materials from plants and animals. One original idea comes from Japan:  they produce a facial treatment made from nightingale droppings. This is a very exclusive product that is highly popular among the wealthy classes -for instance, it's been hailed that Victoria Beckham uses it. Our team discovered a local Spanish enterprise that has plans of emulating it at low cost. The key idea is to use pigeon droppings as the raw material for a luxury face cream. Our team organized a visit to this factory, in Lugo, North-West of Spain. This is the interview that we held.

We arrived at the farm, Mrs. Antelo was waiting for us. Is this a farm or a cosmetic factory? I asked, looking at the chickens. Well, we are just starting, she said smiling.... I like to say that this is a family business.

An artistic picture of a wild pigeon in the farm gardens. Later we discovered that it was trying to get into the facility.

This is a bio-sustainable enterprise. It is in countryside and it doesn't pollute.  Green and feathered, is our slogan. The facility consists of a big glass house which contains the pigeon habitat and a small attached building where the cosmetics are produced. Mrs. Antelo explained the idea to us: here, the pigeons live in the glass house. Is is a 130 sq. meter habitat. and includes everything they need.... water supply, grass, some little trees and the shelves where they nest. Of course, we feed them with a special food.... this is the key element of our product. It is a mixture of seeds, seaweed and oligoelements. They are confined inside the habitat, so we keep complete control of everything they eat. By the way, here comes Raffaela. A pigeon approaches and curiously looks at us. It is funny, I think, that they use human names for the pigeons.

 All the pigeons are born in the habitat. They are kept for 2 years and then released. We do this because we need young animals and it is actually a shame, because they are happier inside than outside. At the beginning they try to come in, but after a while they realise that it is impossible and give up. They start a new life in nearby towns. Every pigeon passes a weekly test. We analyse the weight, health and presence of parasites. In this picture we can see Alexandra's weekly check-up.

 So, what is the idea of all this? I asked. For first time in the interview Mrs. Antelo's expresion is serious. Well, we collect the pigeon droppings. Actually, we don't collect all of it, only the ones deposited close to their nests, for ease of collection. We have plastic containers around the nests. This raw material is very rich in nitrates, phosphorus and potassium. In addition, it contains chemicals related to their special diet that are key elements for the final cosmetic product. Then, in the lab, the pigeon poop is sterilized, processed, the Ph is corrected and some extra ingredients are added in order to produce the final cosmetic.

It is important to detect the harmful presence of fungus in the pigeon droppings

But it is pigeon poo! I exclaimed. Mrs. Antelo smiles again. Yes, in the end it is, but it works!! Now, we are going to apply for the approval of the Health Ministry. We currently have two products, the soft and hard peeling. We are currently testing them on ourselves and on volunteers from the nearby villages. The soft peeling is similar to the Japanese product, but the hard one.... trust me, it is awesome. For two days your face burns and you need painkillers and heavy moisturising creams, but after that, the skin on your face as soft as a baby's bum.

Why don't you use pretty doves instead of pigeons? I asked naively. Mrs. Antelo laughs very loud "different colour, same poo".

King Pigeon Jr.

Pd.- Please, don't try to use pigeon droppings on your face at home. It is a very abrasive substance.